Ccep simply is...

reversed-rainstorm:

My stomach is empty, like all the words you’re saying instead of “I’m sorry.”  I feel the small movements behind my belly button before a growl tears out from behind my ribs, silencing your pathetic attempt at keeping me in your life.  I walk away without looking back… because I’d rather have a sandwich than you.

Wow. “I’d rather have a sandwich than you”

When you hear something that touches you in a way you beg to be unfamiliar. The tears, sliding from ducts like leaving arms you don’t want to, but know you need to. The tears, huddled in corners, afraid to escape because freedom is a reminder you were once held captive to someone or something. And we were just children, playing dress-up in our future selves. We were ice cubes, melting into one another. And the heat was destined to cause our evaporation…

I’m searching for a place of silence

somewhere the wolves can’t reach

where the sailors are safe from my voice

I am looking for a holy place

my life feels a lot like satin

and cotton

but the music is much too loud here

the people are much too loud

and consistent

like merry-go-round go round like clockwork

and the tick

tick

ticking away of my present is deafening

I can hear it

beating like a drummer I once pledged my love to

like that sailor blaming me for his collision

when I begged him to plug his ears

there are no hard hats here

no goggles

no gloves

just demolition

and fragments

and “dear God, protect me”

this time

it is too loud

it is too loud

the vultures are calling

it sounds like hummingbird wings

like children giggling

like seeing it happen and not saying nothing

this time

I will find a quiet place

I will find that one cushy spot

between a rock and a hard place

and I will sit

and I will cover my ears

and I will scream

when she invites you into her chambers

sits you down upon Egyptian cotton

slowly peels away the layers hugging her body

and stands before you naked

let your eyes wander across her surface

memorize every curve

every valley

every detail of her femininity

she will stand

legs slightly spread

palms facing you

eyes locked on yours

daring you to blink

she will take your hand

guide it across her stretch marks

over her scars

between her lips

and she will weep

softly

when she invites you into her

penetrate her vulnerability

do not bother with protection

just place kisses upon her brow

whisper sweet nothings into her ear

assure her she is safe with you

encourage her to relax

to let go

to be herself with you

when she invites you

realize there have been others in your place

their shortcomings pressed into hers

when a woman loves you

when she bares her soul for you

when she shares her secrets

when she trusts

when she confides

when she is intimate

it is like making love with the lights on

when she loves you

do not throw her love in her face

do not compare her love to others

do not share it with all of your friends

do not bottle it up

and attempt to sell it off as your own

do your damndest to not be a supposed to be

supposed to be supportive

supposed to be honest

supposed to be trustworthy

supposed to love her back

when she invites you into her chambers

know there are others

crammed into the corners

know she used both hands

to clear a space just for you

and when she stands in front of you

naked and quivering

offer her more than a blanket

a proven method

and an apology

ip

and stand next to her

or for God’s sake

just leave her alone.

highmiranda:

does anyone else find it immensely comforting to have someone touching you? not like poking or tickling you or like sexually just feeling some other person being beside you and like your elbows or legs or something are touching and you’re like oh this person is alive too

This is everything…

(via electrikladybrown)

the last time i felt this way

i lost my best friend

the closer i got to finding myself

the further i got from him

had i stopped to think long enough

i might’ve realized

God was clearing the path

towards today

it’s easy to fall

to break

to cry

and ask why

i did

for many nights

this time

i think will be different

this time

i’m stronger in my conviction

that i am worth everything

worth love

and kindness

and consistency

and growth

worth the work

and everyone is not willing to work

i understand that

that’s fine

i know i’m a lot

i don’t protest to be anything otherwise

but i know what i bring to the table

know what my future holds

this forgiveness thing

is frightening

letting go of what kept me “safe” for so long

there is no safety in love

love falls

headfirst

with no helmet

because the crash is worth it

i am crashing

into old friends

old lovers

old reminders of who i used to be

turned reminder of where i am now

i am ready

i am so ready

for tomorrow